A guy sees an advertisement in a pet shop window: “Talking Centipede $100.”
The guy walks in and buys it. He comes home, opens the box, and asks the centipede if he wants a beer.
The centipede doesn’t respond, so the guy closes the lid, convinced he’s been betrayed. Thirty minutes later he decides to try again
He raises his voice and shouts, “Do you want to go for a beer?”
The centipede pokes his head out of the box and says, “Pipe down! I heard you the first time. I’m putting on my shoes!”
A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps you if you lie.
A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps you if you lie.
Dad: Son, where were you at school hours?
Son: At school. The robot slaps the son.
Son: Okay I was watching Kungfu Panda! The robot slaps his son again.
Son: Okay I was watching vi…o…lent movies!
Dad: What?! When I was your age I never watched those kinds of movies! The robot slaps the dad.
Mom: Haha, after all, he is your son. The robot slaps the mom…
Loll….
