A lawyer returns to the parking lot
to find his sports car with the headlights broken and considerable damage to the front end.
There’s no sign of the offending vehicle but he’s relieved to see that there’s a note stuck under the windshield wiper:
“Sorry, I just backed into your car. The witnesses who saw the accident are nodding and smiling at me because they think I’m leaving my name, address and phone number. But I’m not.”
One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car,
and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden, an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took off the driver’s side door with him standing right there.
“NOOO!” he screamed.
Because he knew that no matter how much a mechanic tried to fix it, it never would be the same.
Finally, a policeman came by, and the lawyer ran up to him yelling.
“MY BMW’S DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!” he exclaimed.
“You’re a lawyer aren’t you?” asked the policeman.
“Yes, I am. But what does this have to do with my car?” the lawyer asked.
“HA!” the policeman replied. “You lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about are your possessions. I bet you didn’t even notice that your left arm is missing did you?” the cop said.
The lawyer looked down at his side and exclaimed: “MY ROLEX!!”
A doctor and a lawyer
were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer.
The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and remarked, “I never know how to handle the situation when I’m asked for medical advice during a social function. Is it acceptable to send a bill for such advice?”
The lawyer replied that it was certainly acceptable to do so.
The next day, the doctor sent the ulcer-stricken man a bill. The lawyer also sent one to the doctor.
