Yesterday, I consulted my doctor at his clinic. After learning that I just retired recently, the doctor gave me the following health advice:
1. You must walk more often.
2. Avoid soft drinks, beer, or liquor.
3. Drink more plain water.
4. Avoid driving. Take public transport.
5. Avoid dining out, eat at home.
6. Take less meat and seafood; eat more vegetables
I asked: “Doctor, may I know what is wrong with me?”
…
..
.
He replied: “You have no salary.”
Little Johnny brought home his history test result
Little Johnny brought home his history test result, it was 90.
His father was so happy with it. However, his mother, Karen, just couldn’t believe her son got 90 in history.
After taking a closer look at the marks, she found that the handwriting styles of the 9 and the 0 are different. She asked:
“JOHHNYYYYYYYYY… Tell me, did you add the 0 to your marks?”
“No, mum, I didn’t DO THAT.”
“I am asking you once more. Did you add that fXXXXXking 0 to your marks?”
“Mum, no, I didn’t add that 0″.
” OK, as you’re not telling the truth, you will not have pocket money in 1 month.”
“Mum, no, please, no, I really didn’t add that 0.”
” This is your last chance kid, tell me the truth.”
“……. I just added the 9 to it.”
