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A drunk goes over to a pretty lady at a bar

A drunk goes over to a pretty lady at a bar and kisses her.

She stands up and slaps him across the face.

“I’m sorry,” he says “You look just like my wife. I thought you were her.”

Furious, she yells at him, “Why you blasted no good drunk. How dare you touch me. You disgusting pervert!”

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“Wow, you even sound like her.” replies the drunk.

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A little boy asked his mom to give him $20

“Hey, Mom?” asked the little boy, “Can you give me $20?”

“Certainly not,” She replied.

“If you do,” he went on, “I’ll tell you what Dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop.”

His mother’s ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. “Well? What did he say?”

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“He said, ‘Hey Maria, could you make sure I’ve got clean socks tomorrow.'”

 

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