A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled-up newspaper around his head.
Wife: “What are you doing dear?”
Husband: “Swatting flies. I got three males and two females”
Wife: “How on Earth do you know which gender they were?”
…
..
.
Husband: “Easy: three were on the beer, and the other two were on the phone.”
One day a duck walks into a store
One day a duck walks into a store and asks the manager if they sell grapes.
The manager says, “No, we don’t sell grapes.”
The duck goes home and comes back the next day and asks the same question.
The manager says the same thing again, “No, we do not sell grapes.”
The duck goes home, comes back the next day, and asks the manager if they sell grapes. This time the manager says, “No, we don’t sell grapes! If you ask one more time, I will nail your beak to the floor!”
The duck goes home. It comes back the next day and asks the manager if he has any nails.
The manager says, “No, I don’t have any nails.” The duck says, “Okay, good. Do you sell grapes?”
