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A dad picked up his son from school

Matt’s dad picked him up from school one afternoon.

Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part in the play.

Matt enthusiastically announced that: “I play a man who’s been married for twenty years.”

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“That’s great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they’ll be giving you a speaking part.”

A man walks into a barbershop and says

A man walks into a barbershop and says, “I’ll have a shave and a shoeshine.”

The barber lathers his face and sharpens the straight edge while a gorgeous woman kneels down and shines his shoes.

The man says, “Hi there. You know, would you like to spend time with me in a nice place.”

She replies, “My husband wouldn’t like that.”

The man says, “Tell him you’re working overtime, I’ll give you more money”

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She says, “You tell him. He’s the one shaving you.”

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