Stanley is looking for a new office desk and spots one that looks perfect in an antique shop window.
He goes inside and asks the shopkeeper how much it is.
“That desk is going for $5000,” says the shopkeeper.
“$5000 for an old desk? That’s outrageous!” exclaims Stanley.
“Ah,” says the shopkeeper, “but this is a magic desk.” He turns to the desk and asks, “Desk, how much money do I have in my pocket?”
The desk taps one of its legs on the floor four times. The shopkeeper turns out his pocket and, sure enough, there are four dollar coins there.
“Wow, that’s pretty cool,” says Stan. “Alright, desk, how much money does my wife have in her bank account?”
At this, the desk goes wild, manically banging all four of its legs up and down repeatedly for over five minutes non-stop.
“Darn, where did she get all THAT from?” wonders Stanley.
The desk’s legs slide apart and its drawers drop down.
Two thieves snuck into a rich man’s party.
During dinner, they marveled at how even the cutlery was made of gold and decided they would try to steal some.
The first thief quietly slipped a golden spoon into his pocket, unaware that the second thief had witnessed this crime.
After dinner, the second thief devised a way to steal a golden spoon without suspicion being placed on him.
He picked up a golden spoon identical to the first and held it up in front of the party-goers explaining he wished to show them a magic trick.
“And now,” he spoke to the crowd pointing towards the first thief, “I will put this spoon into my pocket and remove it from this gentleman’s pocket!”
A fifteen-year-old Amish boy and his father visited the city for the very first time.
They wandered around, marveling at the different sights. Eventually, they got to a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but they were especially amazed at two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, “What is this Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is.”
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady passed between them into a small room. The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally, the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son: “Junior, go get your Mother.”
