A woman said to her cheating husband “Do you want to see a crumpled-up $50”
He said “Yes”
So she reached into her pocket pulled it out and gave it to him.
Then she said “Do you want to see a crumpled-up $100”
He said “Yes”
So she reached into her pocket pulled it out and gave it to him.
Then she said ” Do you want to see a crumpled-up $50,000″
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He said “Yes” So she said go look for your car in the garage then.
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One day a drunk walked into a bar and ordered a gin and tonic.
One day a drunk walked into a bar and ordered a gin and tonic.
He drank half of it and poured the rest on the bartender.
The bartender got angry, grabbed the drunk by the collar, pulled him close to his face, and asked, “Why did you do that?” The drunk said very apologetically, “I am so very sorry sir.
Please forgive me.
I can’t help it.
It’s an illness I can’t get rid of. I am so ashamed of it.
How can I make it up to you?” The bartender answered, “Haven’t you seen anyone about this problem?”
The drunk replied, “I never thought of that.
Maybe I will.” The bartender said, “Don’t come back until you do get help,” and the drunk left.
About three months later the drunk came back to the same bar, ordered another gin and tonic, drank half of it, and poured the rest of it on the bartender.
The bartender shouted, “I thought I told you not to come back until you got help!”
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The drunk replied, “I did. Now I don’t feel ashamed.”
