A woman was sued by a man for defamation of character.
He charged that she had called him a pig.
She was found guilty and fined.
After the trial, she asked the judge: “Does this mean I cannot call Mr. Johnson a pig?”
The judge said that was true.
“Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mr. Johnson?” asked the woman.
The judge replied that she could indeed call a pig Mr. Johnson with no fear of being charged with a crime.
The woman turned, looked directly at Mr. Johnson, and said, “Good afternoon, Mr. Johnson.”
This redneck was parked behind a trailer load of pigs near the zoo in Washington, DC.
As the truck drove away–one of the pigs fell out.
The redneck walked over and picked the pig up and placed it in the front seat of his truck.
He was sitting there looking puzzled when a policeman walked up and asked what was going on.
He told the story and the policeman recommended he take the pig to the zoo.
The redneck was sitting in the same spot the next day with the pig sitting up in the front seat.
The cop said “didn’t I ask you to take this pig to the zoo?”
The redneck replied “I did and he liked it so well–today I’m taking him to the movies!”
A police officer was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial.
The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer’s credibility.
Q: “Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?”
A: “No, sir! But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.”
Q: “Officer, who provided this description?”
A: “The officer who responded to the scene.”
Q: “A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender! Do you trust your fellow officers?”
A: “Yes, sir, with my life!”
Q: “With your life? Let me ask you this then officer: Do you have a locker in the room?”
A: “Yes, sir, I do!”
Q: “And do you have a lock on your locker?”
A: “Yes, sir!”
Q: “Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with the same officers?”
A: “You see, sir, we share the building with the Court Complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.”
The courtroom exploded with laughter, and a prompt recess was called.
