Two men were hotly discussing the merits of a book.
Finally, one of them – himself an author – said to the other, “You can’t appreciate it because you never wrote a book yourself.”
“No,” the other man retorted, “and I never laid an egg, but I’m still a better judge of an omelet than any hen.”
A convict managed to escape from the prison and his escape was the lead news on the six o’clock news.
So, not to be captured, he ran through fields and traveled through back roads until he reached his house.
When he reached there, he rang the bell, his wife opened the door and yelled,
“You lousy bum! Where have you been? You escaped more than six hours ago!”
A man walks into a lawyer’s office and asks,
“How much do you charge?”
The lawyer says, “$5,000 for three questions.”
“Wow, that’s pretty expensive, isn’t it?” the man asks.
“Yes,” says the lawyer. “Now, what’s your third question?”
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist.
‘I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want any vaccine because I’m in a big hurry,’ the woman said. ‘Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way.’
The dentist was quite impressed. ‘You’re certainly a courageous woman,’ he said. ‘Which tooth is it?’
The woman turned to her husband and said, ‘Show him your tooth, dear!’
I stopped at a fast-food restaurant recently.
I was fascinated by a sign which offered Fat-Free French Fries I decided to give them a try I was dismayed when the clerk pulled a basket of fries from the fryer, which was dripping with fat. He filled a bag with these fries and put them in my order.
“Just a minute!” I said. “Those aren’t fat-free.”
“Yes, they are. We only charge for the potatoes . . . the fat is free!”
