Teacher: How many seconds are there in a year?
Little Johnny: Twelve.
Teacher: Twelve? Are you sure?
Little Johnny: Yes. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2….
A heavy snowstorm closed the schools in one town.
When the children returned to school a few days later, one grade school teacher asked her students whether they had used the time away from school constructively.
“I sure did, teacher,” one little girl replied. “I just prayed for more snow.”
One day a teacher was talking about marriage in class.
Teacher: What kind of wife would you like Johnny?
Johnny: I would want a wife like the moon.
Teacher: Wow! What a choice… Do you want her to be beautiful and calm like the moon?
Johnny: No, I want her to arrive at night and disappear in the morning.
A science teacher asked her students
“Children, if you could own one material, what would it be?”
One girl said, “I would choose gold. It’s worth lots of money and I could buy a Corvette.”
One boy said, “I would want platinum because it’s worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche.”
The teacher said, “Little Johnny, What would you want?”
Johnny said, “I would want silicone.”
“Why would you want silicone?” Asked the teacher
“Well my mom got some, he replied, “and there’s always a Porsche or Corvette sitting in our driveway.”
Football Fan
A first-grade teacher can’t believe her student isn’t excited about the Super Bowl. “It’s a huge event. Why aren’t you excited?”
“Because I’m not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too,” says the student.
“Well, that’s a lousy reason,” says the teacher. “What if your parents were dumb fools? What would you be then?”
“Then I’d be a football fan.”
