Husband sent a text to his wife at night, “Hi Honey! I will get late, please try and wash all my dirty clothes and make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return.”
After a while, he sent another text, “And I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary at the end of the month I’m getting you a new car.”
She texts back, “OMG really?”
Husband replied, “No I just wanted to make sure you got my first message.”
LOL!!
An angry wife followed her husband to the bar.
An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with him.
“What’ll you have?” he asked.
“Oh, I don’t know. The same as you I suppose,” she replied.
So, the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel’s and threw his down in one shot.
His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out.
“Yuck, that’s TERRIBLE!” she spluttered.
“I don’t know how you can drink this stuff!”
“Well, there you go,” cried the husband.
“And you think I’m out enjoying myself every night!”
LOL!!
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