Harry was a poor tailor whose shop was next door a 2 Star Restaurant.
Every day for lunch, Harry would eat his black bread and herring in the small garden at the back of his shop. He would always smell the wonderful odours emanating from the next door restaurant’s kitchen.
One day, the restaurant sent Harry an invoice. Harry went to see the manager to ask why.
The manager replied, “You’re enjoying my food, so you should pay for it.”
Harry refused to pay and the restaurant sued him. At the hearing, the judge asked the restaurant to present their side of the story.
They said, “Every day, this man comes and sits near our kitchen and visibly smells our food whilst eating his. We are obviously adding value to his cheap food and we deserve to be recompensed for it.”
The judge then asked Harry, “And what do you have to say about that?”
Harry said nothing but stuck his hand in his pocket and rattled around the coins he had inside.
The judge asked him, “What’s the meaning of that?”
Harry replied, “I am paying for the smell of his food with the sound of my money.”
Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a tailor.
The first tailor he visited looked at the cloth and measured Abraham, then told him the cloth was not enough to make a suit. Abraham was unhappy with this opinion and sought another tailor.
This tailor measured Abraham, then measured the cloth, and then smiled and said, “There is enough cloth to make a pair of trousers, a coat and a vest, please come back in a week to take your suit.”
After a week Abraham came to take his new suit, and saw the tailor’s son wearing trousers made of the same cloth.
Perplexed, he asked, “Just how could you make a full suit for me and trousers for your son, when the other tailor could not make a suit only?”
“It’s very simple,” replied the tailor, “The other tailor has two sons.”
A customer at Green’s Gourmet Grocery marvels at the proprietor’s quick wit and intelligence.
“Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?”
“I wouldn’t share my secret with just anyone,” Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won’t hear. “But since you’re a good and faithful customer, I’ll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you’ll be positively brilliant.”
“You sell them here?” the customer asks.
“Only $4 each,” says Green.
The customer buys three. A week later, he’s back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn’t any smarter.
“You didn’t eat enough,” says Green.
The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he’s back and this time he’s really angry.
“Hey, Green,” he says, “You’re selling me fish heads for $4 apiece when I can buy the whole fish for $2. You’re ripping me off!”
“You see?” says Green. “You’re smarter already.”
