A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade.
The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!
“You need to use ‘Grown-Up’ words,” she was always reminding them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend.
“I went to visit my Nana.”
“No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use ‘Grown-Up’ words!” She then asked Mitchell what he had done.
“I took a ride on a choo-choo.” She said “No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use ‘Grown-Up’ words.” She then asked little Alec what he had done.
“I read a book,” he replied.
“That’s WONDERFUL!” the teacher said. “What book did you read?”
Alec thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said, “Winnie the S**t.”
A teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on.
He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and pushing the boots, she just didn’t want to go on. By the time she’d got the second boot on, she’d worked up a sweat.
That’s when the little boy said, ‘Mrs. Smith, they’re on the wrong feet.’
She looked, and sure enough, they were.
It wasn’t any easier getting them back off and re-put upon the correct feet. That’s when the little boy said, ‘These aren’t my boots. They’re my brother’s. My mom made me wear them.’
She bit her tongue and managed to keep her cool. But she mustered up the courage one more time to wrestle those boots on his feet again. ‘Now,’ she said, ‘Where are your mittens?’
‘I stuffed them in the toes of my boots.’
A science teacher asked her students
“Children, if you could own one material, what would it be?”
One girl said, “I would choose gold. It’s worth lots of money and I could buy a Corvette.”
One boy said, “I would want platinum because it’s worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche.”
The teacher said, “Little Johnny, What would you want?”
Johnny said, “I would want silicone.”
“Why would you want silicone?” Asked the teacher
“Well my mom got some, he replied, “and there’s always a Porsche or Corvette sitting in our driveway.”
