I was swiping through a d.ating app and matched with someone who didn’t have a profile picture.
Desperate for a change, I decided to take a chance and meet her.
I wasn’t expecting much, maybe someone a little rough around the edges, but when I arrived, I was floored. She was stunning: 5’2″, baby blue eyes, strawberry blonde hair, and all the right curves.
Impressed, I asked what she did for a living. “I teach Sunday school,” she said.
I’d never dated a Christian girl before, but I was intrigued. On the drive to dinner, I lit a c.i.garette and asked if she cared for one.
“Oh, heavens no,” she replied, “What would I tell my Sunday school children?”
Fair enough, I thought. Some people s.moke, some don’t.
At the restaurant, I ordered steak, she got lobster, and I requested the second-most expensive bottle of wine on the menu. When the wine arrived, she declined a glass.
“You don’t drink?” I asked, surprised.
She shook her head. “Oh, heavens no, what would I tell my Sunday school children?”
The dinner and conversation were amazing, but I couldn’t quite figure her out. On the drive home, I passed a cheap m.otel and figured, why not take a chance?
“Want to get a r.oom and f.ool around?” I asked nervously.
She winked and said, “I thought you’d never ask!”
Surprised, I laughed and teased, “Really? What are you going to tell your Sunday school children about this?”
She grinned mischievously and said, “The same thing I tell them every week: You don’t have to s.moke or drink to have a good time!”
An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary
An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary—yes, sixty years of wedded bliss!
They had been childhood sweethearts and decided to retire back in their old neighborhood, reliving the glory days.
One afternoon, they strolled hand-in-hand to their old school, and—lo and behold—the door was open! They couldn’t resist sneaking inside.
They found the very desk they’d shared all those years ago, and sure enough, Jerry had carved “I love you, Sally” into it. (He was quite the romantic, apparently.)
Feeling nostalgic, they wandered back home, but something unusual happened: a bag of money literally fell out of an armored car, landing right at their feet. It was like the universe was just handing them a little anniversary gift.
Sally, being the quick thinker she is, scooped it up. Unsure what to do next, they decided to take it home. Inside the bag? A cool fifty thousand dollars!
Jerry, always the law-abiding citizen, said, “We’ve got to give it back.”
Sally, on the other hand, with a mischievous grin, said, “Finders keepers!” She tucked the money back into the bag and hid it in their attic.
The next day, two police officers showed up in the neighborhood, knocking on doors. “Excuse me, did either of you happen to find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?”
Sally, ever the quick thinker, said, “Nope, didn’t see a thing.”
Jerry, without missing a beat, pointed at her and said, “She’s lying. It’s in the attic.”
Sally shot back, “Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.”
The officers exchanged glances, clearly unsure of who to believe.
They turned to Jerry and asked, “Okay, tell us the story from the beginning.”
Jerry, looking serious, said, “Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday…”
The first officer turned to his partner and whispered, “We’re outta here!”
Clearly, some cases are best left unsolved.
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
