A army trainer was teaching his recruits about survival in the desert.
“What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?” he asked.
Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc. Then Jay in the back eagerly raised his hand.
“Yes Jay, what are the three most important things you would bring with you?”
Jay replied: “A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards.”
“Why`s that Jay?”
“Well,” answered Jay, “the compass is to find the right direction, the water is to prevent dehydration…”
“And what about the deck of cards?” asked trainer impatiently.
“Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, “Put that red nine on top of that black ten!”
A young private sought permission from his Commanding Officer to leave camp the following weekend.
“You see,” he explained, “my wife`s expecting.”
“Oh…” said the Officer, “I understand. Go ahead and tell your wife that I wish her luck.”
The following week the same soldier was back again with the same explanation: “My wife`s expecting.”
The Officer looked surprised. “Still expecting?” he said, “Well, well, my boy, you must be pretty bothered. Of course you can have the week-end off.”
When the same soldier appeared again the third week, however, the Officer lost his temper. “Don`t tell me your wife is still expecting!” he bellowed.
“Yes sir!” said the soldier resolutely, “She`s still expecting.”
“What in heaven is she expecting?” cried the Officer.
“Me.” said the soldier simply.
It was early morning at the military base, and the first sergeant was calling out names for the daily work parties listed on a piece of paper:
“Ames” “Here!” “Jenson” “Here!” “Jones” “Here!” “Magersky” “Here!” “Seeback”
No answer.
“Seeback!”
No answer was heard again.
“SEEBACK!!!” The troops remained totally silent.
At that point, someone whispered into the first sergeant’s ear. He looked again at what the last name really said, quickly turned over the list and continued calling the names printed on the other side.
