A Blonde enters a store that sells curtains.
She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.”
The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink curtains.
He shows her several patterns, but the blonde seems to be having a hard time choosing.
Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print. The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs.
The blonde promptly replies, “Fifteen inches.”
“Fifteen inches???” asked the salesman. “That sounds very small, what room are they for?”
The blonde tells him that they aren’t for a room, they are for her computer monitor.
The surprised salesman replies, “But Miss, computers do not need curtains!”
The blonde says, “Hellllooooooooo … I’ve got Windoooooows!”
Jerald and Catherine had been married for 37 years, before Jerald decided to leave his wife for his secretary.
The divorce was long and messy, as there were a lot of assets to be divided between them. Jerald’s girlfriend demanded that he be the one to keep their multi-million dollar house so that she could live there, so Catherine was kicked out.
Catherine was only given three days to pack her things and leave the house, but was allowed to be there by herself to do so. She spent a couple days packing 37 years of belongings into boxes and suitcases before movers came to take it all away.
On the last day in her home, she made one final meal for herself consisting of shrimp, caviar and white wine. After she was done, she had a brilliant idea. Catherine went to every room in the house and stuffed caviar-dipped shrimp shells inside every curtain rod. She then cleaned up and left the house for good.
Jerald subsequently moved in with his girlfriend, and the two quickly settled. Within a week, however, the house started smelling terrible. The couple tried everything they could to get rid of the terrible smell but nothing worked. They even went so far as to replace the carpets.
After a month, the couple gave up and decided to sell the home. Nobody would go inside the house, let alone buy it, so the real estate agent ultimately gave up on trying to sell it. Jerald then called Catherine, knowing she loved the house, and offered it back to her at a tenth of its price. She accepted, but told them to pack up and leave right away. She gave them a week to move all their things into a new home — even the curtain rods.
