A child from a poor family wanted a bike for Christmas, so he asked his mother.
His mother replied, “Well, we can’t afford one so you’ll just have to go ask the baby Jesus.”
The boy went to his room, got a stack of refill and a pen and began writing: “Dear Baby Jesus, I’ve been good all year, can you please give me a bike for Christmas.”
Then he looked at it and thought maybe that wasn’t entirely true, so he tried again. “Dear Baby Jesus, I’ve been good for the past week, can you please give me a bike for Christmas.”
Then he looked at it again and still wasn’t sure if that was true, so he tried yet again. “Dear Baby Jesus, if you give me a bike, I’ll be good all year.”
But even then that seemed too hard, so he took a walk outside to think about it. As he was walking, he saw his neighbor’s statue of Mother Mary. The boy hopped over the fence, tucked it under his shoulder and ran home to hide it.
Then wrote his letter again. “Dear Baby Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again, give me a bike!”
A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.
He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Where upon he asks the drunk, “Are you ready to find Jesus?” The drunk answers, “Yes, I am.” So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, “Brother have you found Jesus?” The drunk replies, “No, I haven’t found Jesus.”
The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again but for a little longer this time. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, “Have you found Jesus, my brother?” The drunk again answers, “No, I haven’t found Jesus.”
By this time the preacher is at his wits end so he dunks the drunk in the water again — but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds. When the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulls him up. The preacher asked the drunk again, “For the love of God, have you found Jesus?
The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, “Are you sure this is where he fell in?”
One day Dan asks Bob, “So Bob what did you get for Christmas?”
Then Bob says to Dan, “Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?”
Dan says, “OOOOH WOW!
Bob says, “Ya, I got the same exact color tie!”
