A difficult independent 75-year-old woman liked sitting by the park feeding the pigeons.
One day she brought with her a whole loaf of fresh bread just to feed her daily company. Little by little, pinch by pinch, she fed each pigeon with joy. She sat there without being noticed by anyone in the rich suburban neighborhood.
Then suddenly a man in his early 40’s rained on her parade by telling her that she shouldn’t throw away good food on a bunch of pigeons that can find food anywhere when there are a lot of people starving in Africa.
She replied in crazed anger and without hesitation, “Well, hell, I can’t throw that far!”
================================
A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie’s house, and grandpa Morris gets out.
The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park… and couldn’t find his way home.
“Oy Morris,” said grandma,” You’ve been going to that park for over 30 years ! So how could you get lost ?”
Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn’t hear. Morris whispered, “I wasn’t lost…..I was just too tired to walk home.”
================================
Had It All.
This morning I was sitting on a park bench next to a homeless man.
I started a conversation by asking him how he ended up this way.
He said, “Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library.
“I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage.”
I felt sorry for him, so I asked, “What happened? Drugs? A-l.c.ohol? Divorce?”
“Oh no, nothing like that,” he said. “I was released from prison.”
================================
An elderly woman visited a store and requested seven kilograms of potatoes.
The owner was delighted to help and started packing the potatoes. However, the woman stopped him and requested that each potato be wrapped individually. The man complied and asked if there was anything else he could help with.
The woman then requested four kilograms of onions to be wrapped in a similar manner. The shop owner packed the onions and asked if there was anything else.
The woman requested seven kilograms of carrots.
“Let me guess,” said the owner with a sour face, “you want them wrapped individually.”
“Oh, that would be grand.” she said.
The shop owner fulfilled her request and packed all her items in a bag.
The woman then asked: “What are in those crates behind you?”
The man flushed red and said “Madam, these are grapes and they are not for sale!”
