A juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. “What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?” asked the cop.
“I’m a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act.”
“Oh yeah?” said the doubtful cop. “Let’s see you do it.” The juggler got out and starts juggling the blazing torches masterfully.
A couple driving by slows down to watch. “Wow,” said the driver to his wife. “I’m glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they’re giving now!”
A man was Promoted to Montreal
Boss: Congratulations! I’m promoting you to manage our Montreal office!
The young man (disappointed): But sir! There’s nothing up there but bar girls and hockey players.
Boss (now insulted): I’ll have you know that MY MOTHER is from Montreal!
The young man (thinking fast): No kidding? What hockey team did she play on?