A lawyer married a woman who had previously been divorced ten times.
On their wedding night, she turned to her new husband and said, “Please be gentle, I’m still a v.i.rgin.”
“What?” said the baffled groom. “How is that possible after ten marriages?”
She sighed and explained:
Husband #1 was a salesman—he kept promising how amazing it would be, but never actually delivered.
Husband #2 was in software development —he wasn’t sure how it was supposed to work but said he’d troubleshoot and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services —he ran all the diagnostics but couldn’t get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing—even though he had the order, he had no clue when he could deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer—he had a complex plan but needed three years to research, design, and implement it.
Husband #6 was in finance—he thought he could do it but wasn’t sure it was in his job description.
Husband #7 was in marketing —he had great presentation skills but didn’t know how to position himself.
Husband #8 was a psychologist—all he did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist —all he did was examine it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector—all he ever did was… God, I miss him!
She then smiled at her new husband and said, “But now that I’ve married you, I know things will be different!”
“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” the lawyer asked.
“Because you’re a lawyer. This time, I know I’m gonna get screwed!”
A young couple decided to wed.
A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive.
Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.
The Groom-to-be, hoping to overcome his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. “Father, I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage.”
His father replied, “Do you love this girl?”
“Oh yes, very much,” he said,” but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I’m afraid that my fiance will be put off by them.”
“No problem,” said his father, “All you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed.” Well, to him this seemed a workable solution.
The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to discuss her problem with her mom. “Mom,” she said, “When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful.”
“Honey,” her mother consoled, “Everyone has bad breath in the morning.”
“No, you don’t understand. My morning breath is so bad, I’m afraid that my fiance will not want to sleep in the same room with me.”
Her mother said simply, “In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for the kitchen and make breakfast. While the family is busy eating, go to the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is not to say a word until you’ve brushed your teeth.”
“I shouldn’t say good morning or anything?” the daughter asked.
“Not a word,” her mother affirmed.
“Well, it’s certainly worth a try,” she thought.
The loving couple were finally married. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well. That is, until about six months later. Shortly before dawn one morning, the husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed. This, of course, wakes his bride and without thinking, she asks, “What on earth are you doing?”
“Oh no!” he replied, “You’ve swallowed my sock!”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
