John Smith lived in Staten Island, New York, and worked in Manhattan.
He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, so John decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was feeling no pain.
When he got back to the ferry slip, the ferryboat was just eight feet from the dock. Smith, afraid of missing this one and being late for dinner, took a running leap and landed right on the deck of the boat.
“How did you like that jump, buddy?” said a proud John to a deck hand.
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..
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“It was great,” said the sailor. “But why didn’t you wait? We were just pulling in!”
A blonde walks into an appliance store
A blonde walks into an appliance store, approaches the man behind the counter, and says “I’d like that TV please.”
The cashier replies “Sorry, we don’t serve blondes.”
The next day, she woke up, filled her hair with charcoal, went to the same store, and asked the same man for the same TV. “Sorry, we don’t serve blondes here.”
The next day, she got up, went to the hair salon, get her hair dyed red, and went to the same store and asked for the SAME THING.
The cashier responded, “Why do you keep coming back if you know we don’t serve blondes?”
At this point the blonde was furious. “How the hell do you know I’m blonde?”.
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..
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The cashier looked her straight eye, and explained, “that’s not a TV, that’s a microwave oven.”
