A Newfoundlander living in Toronto decided to visit the Scarborough zoo.
While there, he saw a man with an elephant act. The man claimed the elephant could look at a person and tell that person’s age.
The trainer had the elephant look at a small boy.
The elephant stamped its foot 9 times.
“Is that right?” he asked the boy. “Oh yes”, said the boy.
The Newfie was very skeptical and said so, in no uncertain terms.
Finally, the trainer could take it no longer, and offered to bet the Newfie that the elephant could look at him and tell him his age.
The Newfie accepted the wager.
The elephant looked very closely at the skeptic, then turned around, raised his tail and broke wind like you wouldn’t believe. Then he turned back around and stomped his foot twice.
The Newfie stumbled back, amazed, and with a sound of disbelief in his voice, cried,
“Lard tunderin’ Jaysus b’y, he’s right!!!! I’m farty-two!”
A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him.
He stopped one of the runners and asked, “What’s happening?”
The runner replied breathlessly, “A lion has escaped from the zoo.”
“Oh my, which way is it heading?”
“Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do you?”
Two men were in a forest,
when a lion came roaring towards them.
One of them throws sand into the lion’s eyes and then runs.
The second man stays, unmoved.
The first man looks back and shouts, “Why are you not running?”
The second man replies, “Why should I be running? You’re the one who threw the sand.”
There were these two guys out hiking when they came upon an old, abandoned mine shaft.
Curious about its depth, they threw in a pebble and waited for the sound of it striking the bottom, but they heard nothing.
They went and got a bigger rock, threw it in and waited. Still nothing.
They searched the area for something larger and came upon a railroad tie. With great difficulty, the two men carried it to the opening and threw it in. While waiting for it to hit bottom, a goat suddenly darted between them and leapt into the hole.
The guys were still standing there with astonished looks upon their faces from the actions of the goat when a man walked up to them. He asked them if they had seen a goat anywhere in the area and they said that one had just jumped into the mine shaft in front of them.
The man replied, “Oh, no! That couldn’t be my goat. Mine was tied to a railroad tie.”
