A woman raced her car up her driveway, squealed the brakes, and screeched to a stop.
She ran inside, banged the front door shut, and yelled, “Honey, pack your suitcase! I just won the Powerball!”
Her husband shouted back, “Wow! Really? That’s awesome!! What do you want me to pack? Mountain stuff or Caribbean stuff?
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She shouted back, “I don’t give a flip. Just get the hell out!”
Three women went into a bar and ordered their drinks
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and ordered their drinks from the bartender.
Brunette: “I’ll have a B and C.”Bartender:”What is a B and C?”.
Brunette: “Bourbon and Coke.”
Redhead: “And, I’ll have a G and T.”
Bartender: “What’s a G and T?”
Redhead: “Gin and tonic.”
Blonde: “I’ll have a 15.”
Bartender: “What’s a 15?”
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Blonde: “7 and 7”