An old man and his wife went to the doctor for a check-up.
While the man is with the doctor, the doctor asks him, “So how has life been treating you?”
The old man replies, “The Lord’s been good to me. Every night when I go to the bathroom, He turns the light on and when I’m finished, He turns the light off.”
While the old woman is with the doctor, the doctor told her what her husband said.
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She replied, “Damn it! The old fart’s been pissing in the ice box again!”
Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip.
Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment.
On the first day, they go fishing, but they don’t catch anything.
The same thing happens on the second day and on the third day.
It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.
As they’re driving home they’re really depressed.
One guy turns to the other and says, “Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?”
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The other guy says, “Wow! Then it’s a good thing we didn’t catch anymore!”
