An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying.
“Well,” says the old fellow, “I just got married to a twenty-five-year-old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast and then we walk together. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we drink tea together. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we watch TV together
The policeman looks at the old man and says, “You shouldn’t be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!”
So the old man says, “I know! I’m crying because I don’t remember where I live!”
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are on a ship.
3 women are on a ship that’s run out of fuel
There’s an island in the distance so the brunette decides to make a swim for it. She swims 100 meters but drowns.
The redhead decides to have a go. She swims 500 meters but drowns.
The blonde has no choice.
She gets in the water, swims 1 mile, and gets within 100 meters of the island.
She cries “I’m too tired, I can’t make it.” And swims back to the ship.