An old snake goes to his doctor and says, “I need something for my eyes … I can’t see very well these days. ”
The doctor fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to come back in two weeks.
The snake comes back in two weeks and tells the doctor he’s very depressed.
“What’s the problem?” Asks the doctor.
“Didn’t the glasses help you?”
“The glasses are fine, Doc.” The snake replies dejectedly. “I just found out that I have been living with a garden hose for the past 2 years.”
LOL!!
Talking Dog for Sale
A man sees a sign in front of a house: “Talking Dog for Sale.”
He rings the bell and the owner tells him that the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.
“You talk?” he asks.
“Of course,” the dog replies.
“So what’s your story?”
The dog looks up and says, “Well, I discovered my gift of talking quite young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting with spies and world leaders in rooms because no one thought a dog was eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running.
The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I was not getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. There I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.
The owner says, “Ten dollars.”
The guy says, “This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”
“Because he’s a liar. He didn’t do any of that stuff!”
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
