John and Tony were in a bar, pondering over Tony’s problems.
“Andrea and I want to get married,” said Tony, “but we can’t find anywhere to live.”
“Why don’t you live with Andrea’s parents for a while?” suggested John.
“We can’t do that,” said Tony, “they’re living with their parents for a while, too.”
A husband said to his wife, “Honey, I have invited a friend home for supper tonight.”
His wife replied, “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn’t have time to go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal tonight!”
The husband said, “I know all that.”
“Then why in the world did you invite your friend for supper tonight?” asked the wife.
The guy answered, “Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.”
The Bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.
Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.
So he announced: ” Ladies and Gentlemen, today is the luckiest day of my life.”
Then he raised his hands with what is his daughter gave him and said,
“My daughter has finally returned my Credit Card to me!!!” The whole audience burst into laughter.
Except the Groom.
After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks kind of strange so she decides to do a DNA test.
She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.
Wife: “Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.”
Husband: “What’s up?”
Wife: “According to DNA test results, this is not our kid!”
Husband: “Well you don’t remember, do you? When we were leaving the hospital, you noticed that our baby had a dirty diaper. So you said, ’Please go change the baby, I’ll wait for you here.’ So I went inside, got a clean one and left the dirty one there.”
The wife fainted.
