Don’t mess with an old man
An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic.
He put a sign up outside that said: “Get your treatment for $500 – if not cured, get back $1,000.”
Doctor “Young,” who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000.
He went to Dr Geezer’s clinic and this is what happened.
Dr Young: “Dr Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?
Dr Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr Young’s mouth.”
Dr Young: “Aaagh! This is Gasoline!”
Dr Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”
Dr Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
Dr Young: “I have lost my memory and I cannot remember anything.”
Dr Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Dr Young: “Oh no you don’t, that’s Gasoline!”
Dr Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”
Dr Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr Young: “My eyesight has become weak I can hardly see!”
Dr Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that. Here’s your $1000 back.”
Dr Young: “But this is only $500!”
Dr Geezer: “Congratulations! You have got your vision back! That will be $500.”
A 97 year old man goes in the insurance and says to the insurer:
“Hello my son. I want to have a life insurance policy.”
Perplexed by the old man, the insurer asks: “Sorry for the indiscretion, but why do you want to make life insurance?”
“You know my son I will travel with my father in Europe.”
Even more perplexed the insurer, asks: “Again, sorry, but how old is your father?”
“127. ”
“127? And what will you do in Europe?”
He answers: “We will go to the wedding of my grandfather.”
Even more shocked the insurer asks: “And how old is your grandfather?”
“He is … Oh, 150.”
And the insurer ready to hear everything now, asks: “Oh well, how come your grandfather wants to get married at this age?”
“Bullshit, you know his parents are pressing him!”
A little old man who’s hard of hearing goes to see the doctor.
As he can’t hear very well, he takes his wife with him.
The doctor examines the man and then says, “Hmm, I think we need to take a stool sample, a urine sample and a sperm sample.”
The old man turns to his wife and asks, “What did he say?”
The wife replies, “He said he wants your underwear.”
