This guy was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night in the middle of a storm.
The night was roiling and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.
Suddenly, he saw a car coming towards him and stop. The guy, without thinking about it, got in the car and closed the door – and only then realized that there’s nobody behind the wheel!
The car starts very slowly. The guy looks at the road and sees a curve coming his way. Scared, he starts to pray, begging for his life.
He hasn’t come out of shock when, just before the car hits the curve, a hand appears through the window and moves the wheel. The guy, paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appears every time they are approaching a curve.
Gathering strength, he gets out of the car and runs all the way to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he goes into a bar, asks for two shots of tequila, and starts telling everybody about the horrible experience he just went through.
A silence enveloped everybody when they realize the guy was crying, but wasn’t drunk. About half an hour later two guys walked in the same bar and one said to the other:
“Look, Pepe, that’s the *sshole that got in the car while we were pushing it!”
A blond had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.
Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
“My God!” the trooper gasped. “Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma’am?”
“Yes, officer, I’m just fine.” the blond chirped.
“Well, how in the world did this happen?” the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
“Officer, it was the strangest thing!” the blond began.
“I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was…”
“Uh, ma’am?”, the officer said, cutting her off, “There isn’t a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth.”
Wife: “There’s trouble with car. It has water in the carburetor.”
Husband: “Water in a carburetor? That’s ridiculous.”
Wife: “I tell you the cas has water in the carburetor.”
Husband: “You don’t even know what a carburetor is. I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?”
Wife: “In the pool.”
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car
and was pulled over by a female police officer, who was also a blonde.
The officer asked to see the lady’s driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
“What does it look like?” she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, “It’s square and it has your picture on it.”
The driver finally found a mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. “Here it is,” she said.
The officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, “Okay, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop.”
