Little Johnny is back at school after the holidays.
After a few days, his teacher calls up Little Johnny’s dad to report that Johnny has been behaving badly at school.
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His dad says to the teacher “Hang on a minute, I had Johnny at home with me for 2 months and I never phoned you once when he misbehaved.”
A bum asked a man to give him $2 for dinner
A man was walking in the city when he was accosted by a particularly bum who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars, and asked, “If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?”
“No, I stopped drinking years ago,” the bum said.
“Will you use it to gamble?”
“I don’t gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive.”
“Will you spend the money on golf?”
“I haven’t played golf in 20 years!”
The man said, “Instead of giving you $2, I’m going to take you to my home for a dinner cooked by my wife.”
The bum was surprised. “Won’t your wife be angry with you for bringing me to your home? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad.”
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The man replied, “That’s okay. I just want her to see what a man who’s given up drinking, gambling, and golf looks like.”
LoLLLL, did you laugh? did you read this joke before?
