Oliver`s wife, Amelia, and kids all came down with the flu.
Upon returning home from the pediatrician`s office with his four kids, he turned his attention to his ailing wife.
After preparing some chicken soup for her, he picked up the phone to call her doctor.
The receptionist picked up and he related the situation to her. She then told him that the office was going to be closed for a couple of days, but that his wife could have an appointment in 3 days.
Oliver went ballistic and yelled into the phone, “Three days?! The doctor can`t see her for three days?! She could be dead by then!”
Calmly the voice at the other end of the line replied, “If so, would you please call to cancel the appointment?”
A man told the doctor’s receptionist:
“I need an appointment.”
“How about 10 tomorrow?” she asked.
“I don’t need that many,” he replied.
A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.”
The doctor asks, “What do you mean?”
The man says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee –
OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.”
The doctor says, “I know what’s wrong with you – you’ve broken your finger!”
A man hasn’t been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup.
Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results.
“I’m afraid I have some very bad news,” the doctor says. “You’re dying, and you don’t have much time left.”
“Oh, that’s terrible!” says the man. “How long have I got?”
“Ten,” the doctor says sadly.
“Ten?” the man asks. “Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!”
“Nine…”
