One day a drunk walked into a bar and ordered a gin and tonic.
He drank half of it and poured the rest on the bartender.
The bartender got angry, grabbed the drunk by the collar, pulled him close to his face, and asked, “Why did you do that?”
The drunk said very apologetically, “I am so very sorry sir.
Please forgive me.
I can’t help it.
It’s an illness I can’t get rid of. I am so ashamed of it.
How can I make it up to you?” The bartender answered, “Haven’t you seen anyone about this problem?”
The drunk replied, “I never thought of that.
Maybe I will.” The bartender said, “Don’t come back until you do get help,” and the drunk left.
About three months later the drunk came back to the same bar, ordered another gin and tonic, drank half of it, and poured the rest of it on the bartender.
The bartender shouted, “I thought I told you not to come back until you got help!”
The drunk replied, “I did. Now I don’t feel ashamed.”
A guy walks into a bar and orders a shot of whisky.
A man walks into a bar and orders a glass of whisky.
He swallows it and looks in his shirt pocket.
He orders another glass of whisky, swallows it, and looks into his small pocket.
He orders a third shot and does the same.
After the sixth shot, he asks the bartender for the bill, pays, and starts to walk out.
Curiosity gets the better of the bartender and he says to the guy, “Excuse me, but I noticed that every time you drank a shot, you kept looking into your pocket. I was wondering what’s in your pocket.”
The guy slurs, “Well, I have a picture of my wife in my pocket. I keep drinking until she starts to look good.”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
