One day a friend asked, “Why aren’t you married? Can’t you find a woman who will be a good wife?”
Fred replied, “Actually, I’ve found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn’t like them.”
His friend thinks for a moment and says, “I’ve got the perfect solution, just find a girl who’s just like your mother.”
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, “Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?”
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, “Yes, I found the perfect girl She was just like my mother, You were right, my mother liked her very much.”
The friend said, “Then what’s the problem?”
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Fred replied, “My father doesn’t like her.”
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A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again
A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, “I’ve had enough and have left you. Don’t bother coming after me.”
Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.
After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom.
As she watched, he approached the dresser and retrieved the note.
After a brief interval, he wrote down a message on it, then promptly dialed a number on the phone.
“Finally, she’s gone… Yes, I’m well aware, it’s about time. I’ll be on my way to see you. Wear that beautiful nightie, won’t you?”
I love you…can’t wait to see you…we’ll do all the naughty things you like.”
He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left.
She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed.
Seething with rage and with tears in her eyes she grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
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“I can see your feet. We’re outta bread: be back in five minutes.”
