An elderly couple returned to a Mercedes dealership find the salesman had just sold the car they were interested in, to a beautiful woman.

“I thought you said you would hold that car until we raised the 75K asking price,” said the man. “Yet I just heard you close the deal for $65,000 to that lovely young lady over there. You insisted there could be no discounts on this model.”

“Well, what can I tell you? She had the ready cash and just look at her. How could I resist?” replied the grinning salesman.

Just then the young woman approached the old folks and handed them the keys.

“There you go,” she said. “I told you I could get this joker to drop the price. See you later, grandpa.”

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An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary.

The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.

Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered and found the old desk they’d shared, where Jerry had carved I love you, Sally.

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money – fifty thousand dollars!

Jerry said, “We’ve got to give it back.”

Sally said, “Finders keepers.” She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money and knocked on their door. “Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?”

Sally said,”No.”

Jerry said, “She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic.”

Sally said, “Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.”

The agents turned to Jerry and began to question him.

One said: “Tell us the story from the beginning.”

Jerry said, “Well when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday…”

The first police officer turned to his partner and said, “We’re outta here!”

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An elderly couple who had just celebrated their fiftieth anniversary were sitting on their porch, relaxing.

Both were simply reading a book and rocking on their chairs. When suddenly, the wife looks at her husband and whacks him across the head, and goes back to her knitting.

Her husband, puzzled, asks, “What was that for?”

She replied, “That was for 50 years of bad s**.”

He goes back to his newspaper, but a few minutes later, he looks at his wife and whacks her across the head.

The wife, also puzzled asks him, “What was that for?”

Not looking up from his newspaper, the husband answers,

“That is for knowing the difference.”