A man went to his lawyer and told him, ‘My neighbor owes me £500 and he won’t pay up.
What should I do?’
‘Do you have any proof he owes you the money?’ asked the lawyer.
‘Nope,’ replied the man.
‘OK, then write him a letter asking him for the £1,000 he owed you,’ said the lawyer.
‘But it’s only £500,’ replied the man.
‘Precisely.
That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your proof!’
A man sneaks out of the hospital to drink beer
A man has been hospitalized for a month. One day, he’s so tired of being in the hospital that he sneaks into the nearest pub.
He orders a beer and swallows the flat quantity in ten seconds. Then he orders a second beer and does the same. Then a third and a fourth.
As he orders the fifth beer, he says to the barman, “I shouldn’t be drinking this with what I’ve got.”
The barman gasps in alarm, “What have you got?”
…
..
.
To which the hospital patient replies, “I’ve got no money.”
