A dinner speaker was in such a hurry
to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him he said, “I forgot my teeth.”
The man said, “No problem.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. “Try these,” he said.
The speaker tried them. “Too loose,” he said.
The man then said, “I have another pair – try these.”
The speaker tried them and responded, “Too tight.”
The man was not taken back at all. He then said, “I have one more pair. Try them.”
The speaker said, “They fit perfectly.” With that he ate his meal and gave his speech. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him.
“I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I’ve been looking for a good dentist.”
The man replied, “I’m not a dentist. I’m an undertaker.”
Dentist Office Wake Up
A two-year-old girl, Sally was with her mother while her older sister was being examined by a dentist.
Sally kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her mom was resting, her eyes closed.
With about six other patients waiting, Sally marched up to her mother, looked her straight in the face, and shook her shoulder.
“Mommy,” she yelled, “Wake up! This is not church!”
As my grandmother and I
were walking towards the United Nations Building in New York City, we came upon a street evangelist who was trying to get the attention of passersby.
He urged those near him to flee from the wrath to come.
“I warn you,” he roared, “that there will be weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth!”
An old woman in the crowd shouted snidely: “Sir, I have no teeth!”
“Lady,” the evangelist retorted, “teeth will be provided!”
