An 80-year-old Italian man goes to the doctor for a check-up.
The doctor is amazed at what good shape the man is in and asks, ‘How do you stay in such great physical condition?’
‘I’m Italian and I am a golfer,’ says the old guy, ‘and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and go out golfing up and down the fairways.’
‘Well,’ says the doctor, ‘I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your dad when he died?’
‘Who said my dad’s dead?’
The doctor is amazed. ‘You mean you’re 80 years old and your dad’s still alive. How old is he?’ ‘He’s 100 years old,’ says the golfer. ‘In fact, he golfed with me this morning.’
‘Well,’ the doctor says, ‘that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it than that. How about your dad’s dad? How old was he when he died?’
‘Who said my grandpa’s dead?’
Stunned, the doctor asks, ‘You mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather is still alive! Incredible! How old is he?’
‘He’s 118 years old,’ says the golfer.
The doctor is getting frustrated at this point. ‘So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?’
‘No. Grandpa couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married tomorrow.’
At this point, the doctor is close to losing it. ‘Getting married! Why would a 118-year-old guy want to get married?’
‘Who said he wanted to?’
A boy was feeling very nervous about his first date, and so went to his father for advice.
“My son, there are three subjects that always work with women: food, family, and philosophy.”
The boy picks up his date, and they stare at each other for a long time. The boy’s nervousness builds, but he then remembers his father’s advice and asks the girl:
“Do you like potato pancakes?”
“No,” comes the answer, and the silence returns like a suffocating blanket.
“Do you have a brother?”
“No.”
After giving it some thought, the boy plays his last card:
“If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?”
An old man goes to his doctor,
complaining about a pain in his leg that doesn’t heal and wants a diagnosis and explanation. The doctor sees his leg, but can’t find anything wrong. So he gives the old guy a full physical exam, and still can’t come up with any possible explanation for the pain.
The doctor hands the patient his bill and says, “I’m sorry but the pain in your leg is simply caused by old age, there’s nothing I can do about it.”
The old man replies with a look of disbelief, “That’s impossible! That can’t be!”
The doctor says, “What do you mean? I’m the expert here; if you know so much, how can you say it’s not old age?”
The patient answers, “I’m no doctor but it doesn’t take a medical degree to tell that your diagnosis is wrong. Clearly, you’re mistaken. After all, my other leg feels just fine.”
“So what?” says the doctor. “What difference does that make?”
“Well, it doesn’t hurt a bit, and it’s the same age!”
