A woman was chatting with her next-door neighbor.
“I feel really good today. I started out this morning with an act of unselfish generosity. I gave a twenty dollar bill to someone who was needy and down on his luck.”
“Twenty whole dollars? That’s a lot of money to just give away. What did your husband say about it?”
“Oh, he thought it was the proper thing to do. He said, ‘Thanks.'”
An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary.
The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.
Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they’d shared, where Jerry had carved I love you, Sally.
On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money – fifty thousand dollars!
Jerry said, “We’ve got to give it back.”
Sally said, “Finders keepers.” She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.
The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on their door. “Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?”
Sally said,”No.”
Jerry said, “She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic.”
Sally said, “Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.”
The agents turned to Jerry and began to question him.
One said: “Tell us the story from the beginning.”
Jerry said, “Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday…”
The first police officer turned to his partner and said, “We’re outta here!”
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students.
He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.
Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in.
The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying “A dollar per point.”
The next class the professor handed the graded tests back out.
This student got back his test, his test grade, and $64 change.
